Wal-Mart

Hello again, did you miss me? Oh, I missed you too. How's life? Good, good. I'm glad to hear that, but let's get on with the story. Have you ever gone to a store (we'll say Wal-Mart) and had to get groceries? Of course you have. Unless you're some kind of Amish person, I'm pretty sure you've been to Wal-Mart. Am I afraid of offending the Amish on here? It's a website, they aren't going to see it. Don't worry. I'll tell them it was me anyway. Don't worry guy, I've got your back. You'd do the same for me, right? No? Oh, well... I'm telling Jebediah that you thought his beard was creepy, then. Anyway, Wal-Mart has literally everything. If it exists, they have it. Which leads me to believe that they actually are the creators of everything and they just let us think that they're a humble chain of superstores. I'm on to you Wal-Mart... I'm on to you. So,  let's start at the beginning of your journey. You check the levels and assess whether or not levels are critically low for the milk, eggs, condoms, whatever you need for your big party this weekend. So, you may even have a list, just so you know you won't forget anything. You are the shopping expert. You know what you want and how to get it. So, arriving at your nearest everything-vendor, you see that there is absolutely no place to park unless it has this offensive picture of a tall smurf in a wheelchair. I'm assuming it's Papa Smurf. He has to be getting old and fragile by now. So, you finally find a space out about a mile from the store, and you walk into find that the layout of everything has changed. The shirts are where the toothpaste should be. The milk is with the bleach (strategically placed, i might add). Nothing makes sense. Up is down, down is purple. Even though everything is just short of completely chaotic you still somehow manage to finish your shopping. Oh, wait. No you didn't. You forgot the one effing thing. You know? That one thing that you came for but totally forgot about until just now. That thing. It's on the other end of the store that's been entirely jumbled around. So, to summarize all of this, I shall present you the FFFFUUUU Guy